My painful story

The day I sprained my thumb
It all started when we were playing soccer knock. I went to stop the ball from hitting my knees and hit my precious thumb and sprained my thumb. I started to cry then I said in my head pull your self together woman. I got back up I said to Mrs.M I think I Brock my thumb she said it will be all right so I sat down to rest. But then it went right back to the top back of your hand and I basically boiled my eye's out of my sockets and screamed.

Mr H - Is this a true story? I'd have thought I'd remembered that. I like the description of your feelings. I'd like to see some work on your sentences. You need to add some capitals and full stops and also tell the reader how you hurt your thumb. - what happened, create a picture using your words. - Also add a picture.